Friday, January 22, 2010

Day 20

Since I started blogging I have had many questions about privacy, from myself and others. How much can I and should I share? Where are the boundaries of good taste and emotional safety? Isn't it risky to reveal my most intimate thoughts and feelings?

I have been called an emotional exhibitionist. I never saw any reason to hide what I feel and think. Of course this has at times created discomfort for me and for those around me. But I guess I am kind of like those people who enjoy extreme sports, only I prefer to keep my feet literally on the ground. I love the thrill of taking an emotional risk, walking an emotional tightrope. It makes me feel more alive to reveal to others what is on the inside.

Most people hide their insides from the rest of the world. As a result, I spent most of my life going around comparing my insides with everybody else's outsides, assuming that I was different and flawed. Shame seems to grow best in dark. isolated places. What I've learned from those people who have been willing to share with me on an intimate level is that fear and loneliness and grief are part of the human condition, as are joy, hope and love.

When I share my thoughts and feelings it is with the understanding that on the inside we are all more alike than different. There is a sense of safety in that, a kind of emotional safety net that promises to break the free fall. As cliche as it might be, I love the line spoken between the two main characters in Avatar: "I see you." What if we really could see each other, from the inside out?

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