Sunday, January 17, 2010

Day 17

I didn't write yesterday. I don't want to write today. But here I am. I am writing because I struggle with the choice between giving in to what I want at any given moment and doing what I committed to at some earlier point.


For example, I often commit to new "eating plans." Some people may be unfamiliar with this term (eating plan) however, if you are one of the growing (no pun intended) group of people who are obsessed with weight and diet you have no doubt used it. If you are like me and some of my closest friends you may use it obsessively. Anyway, this is how it goes...I commit to, say, give up chocolate on Sunday when I am feeling particularly disgusted with my weight and my lack of self control. I decide to start on Monday. My resolve is strong on Monday morning. By Monday afternoon, I have seen about a thousand advertisements for products with names like Bliss and Chocolate Decadence with promises of creamy goodness and pure indulgence. I want to be give in. I want to be pleasured (Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?).


So this is the struggle. I have competing needs: the need to be pleasured versus the need for integrity. This is a common dilemma. One of my favorite writers on nonviolent communication is Kelly Bryson. He works with kids and encourages them when faced with a choice to choose the most selfish option. What is most in my best interest at any given moment? I'm still struggling. But I did write today.

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