A friend called me today. She defended her dissertation on the same day I did. She wanted to share how well it went for her. Her committee offered abundant praise and suggested that they want to nominate her dissertation for a variety of awards. I was happy for her (no, really I was). But I was also a little jealous.
If anyone is going to be receiving any award I think it should be me. I want to go on the record as saying that I think that we should each be honored for the unique contributions we make to the world. However, if trophies are being handed out I want the biggest one. I often find myself competing in races I never even intended to enter.
It takes a conscious effort to stop competing. Sitting with my jealousy allows me to see my own neglected need to have the value of my work recognized by others. Perhaps on a deeper level I need to value my own work. When we have a genuine sense of pride and accomplishment we are more capable of celebrating the accomplishments of others.
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