Monday, April 26, 2010

Day 116

I have a break from teaching which just happened to coincide with the completion of my dissertation. Without my normal routines and habits I feel set adrift.

I have been striving to be more mindful. Now it is easy to see that the habits and routines in which I find comfort also keep me in a state of mindlessness. It is easy to check out and operate on autopilot as long as I am guided by these routines and habits.

Now, I have an opportunity to be more aware. My first reaction is anxiety. I must find some activity to fill the time. Being alone with myself is frightening. Who am I without the constant busyness?

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