Monday, April 12, 2010

Day 102

I have a bulletin board in my home office. On it is a bumper sticker that reads: Choose to Feel. I have been working on that for a few years now. It may seem that like feeling is as natural as breathing but for some of us it becomes second nature to avoid our feelings.

For me there was unresolved grief that threatened to overwhelm me if I allowed myself to really feel it. I developed lots of avoidance strategies. I became the girl with the perpetual smile. The problem with this kind of emotional detachment is that it takes us out of the present moment. We become so dissociated that we are denied not just the pain, but also the joy.

Yesterday I was in my kitchen, cooking and listening to the radio. All of my senses were engaged and I felt safe and secure and serene. It was one of those rare moments of bliss when my mind and body were synchronized. Those moments remind me why I choose to feel.

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