Day 109

I had dinner last night with my son Steven and Bill. Steven talked about his fear of "selling out." I have been thinking about the meaning of that phrase since. Selling out implies that one has a set of values or ethics, a sense of integrity that can be challenged and threatened. At 26 I think my son is still in the process of defining what those are. He is carving out a code, a set of standards, that he holds up against the ideals expressed by other individuals, institutions, organizations and society as a whole.

I went through a similar process in my 20s. I think that we don't so much find ourselves in those years; we define ourselves. If we are not careful our idealism can turn to self-righteousness. I found self-righteousness to be a cold and lonely stand. Today I find that I am less concerned with selling out and more concerned with living an authentic life. I recognize that I always have a choice. When I am awake and aware I can trust my most authentic self to come forward. To act from that sense of self-awareness is more radical than anything I could have imagined at 26.