Sometimes life seems to move past me like a movie in fast forward.
I close my eyes and I am nine years old again playing with friends in the backyard, painting my fingernails for the first time. Those bright purple fingernails no less vivid in my memory.
Wasn't it just yesterday that I was crossing the street with my son, his tiny hand in mine, so aware of how much he needed me? Now my child isn't a child anymore. He is an adult with his own life, separate from me in so many ways.
Wasn't it a moment ago that I met my partner and fell in love? In my mind I can clearly remember our wedding vows; joy following so closely on the heels of the 9/11 tragedy. Was that really 9 years ago?
The moments of my life seem like sand falling through my fingers. I try to hold on to no avail. I am troubled by the pace with which my life changes. I look around for something to hold onto, something to which I can cling in order to avoid the disorienting affects.
If I sit and breathe and allow myself to sink into the present moment, if I allow my thoughts to merely drift by, if I refuse to get hooked, I find the unchanging nucleus of my life. This is the place of peace. This is the place I can always return to regardless of the circumstances "out there." It is only a moment and then it is gone.
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