When I am dishonest I seem to create little (and sometimes not so little) puddles that I ultimately step in. My dishonesty is usually not overt; I am more often guilty of sins of omission.
Just recently I had some complaints about how my writing group was functioning. Time and attention were not being equally distributed among the various members. Some members, in my opinion, were getting more than their share.
I could have shared my concerns openly with the group as a whole, but I didn't. Why? I suppose I was scared of being labeled petty or a trouble maker, or even worse, I could have been misunderstood or ignored. It's easier to just keep quiet...well, not exactly. When I don't speak up for my needs the feelings associated with them continue to nag at me. Rather than let them eat away from inside I let them out in dribs and drabs.
Instead of confronting the group directly, as a group, I talked to individual members, those I felt most safe with. I even wrote about my concerns here. This was dishonest. My actions have created friction in the group and I have regrets. My small concerns have now taken on more baggage.
We meet tonight and I have another opportunity to be honest. Maybe it's time to unpack these bags and move on.
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