Yesterday I had an argument with my partner. We were standing in the kitchen on the verge of yelling, each of us trying to get our point across. We were trying to convey our needs (loudly). I was thinking: He doesn't hear what I am saying. I really needed to be heard. Then it occurred to me - Bill probably needed the same thing. I went over to the drawer pulled out a piece of paper and started writing down his requests one by one. Once his need to be heard was met, the whole mood in the room changed. Later he was able to hear my needs.
I have a strong need to be heard. Sometimes in my zealousness to be heard I forget to listen. I have learned that in a conflict it just takes one person to change the dynamic by really listening. It creates a space for every voice.
Last night I went to my writing group, thinking about this need to be heard. It occurred to me that some people write to be heard, other people write to create a facade that they can retreat behind, a barrier to their true selves. I'll admit, the later motivation is not one that I understand completely.
I am more interested in writing that reveals something of the author. I guess I have always been a bit of a voyeur, longing to peer into the souls of strangers and loved ones. I want to see others as they really are. Is this just a reflection of my own desire to be seen and heard and appreciated?
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