I am a little judgy sometimes (yes, I know that judgy is not officially an adjective, but it should be dammit). I say to myself, "You are so judgy," which just goes to show just how judgy I am.
I do make judgments about people all the time. It goes something like this: "She is such a wimp." or "He is so self-centered." Is this wrong? Perhaps the problem isn't in the observation, "Wow, she has a hard time standing up for herself" or "He seems to need a lot of attention." Perhaps the problem is in assuming that there is a correct way to behave.
What I am really saying with my judgements is that the behavior I observe is not behavior that I want to emulate. It reminds me that I have a choice. I am also called to empathize because I too am wimpy and self-centered, sometimes at the same time which makes me really crazy.
It seems to me that we all have inner doubts, fears, and pain that come out in ways we would rather they did not--being wimpy and self-centered and judgmental among them. I always feel that when I judge others it is a way to defend myself against looking inside at my own stuff. Anyone out there who is on our hit list is probably just in pain or somehow reflecting the pain we do not want to face within ourselves. We are probably the harshest judge of our own selves--it just seems easier to pretend we are aiming at someone else.
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