Day 206

I was raised by women: generous, strong, capable women. The men were peripheral. Very often they were broken, in need of special care. I learned at a young age that we must tiptoe around them, taking care not awaken their rage.

I was attracted to my partner in part because he was the first man I ever really knew who did not need to be taken care of. He was 50 when we met, never married. He could do his own laundry and run a vacuum. He could even bake a loaf of bread if he desired one. I found a relationship with him immensely inviting.

I long for equality between men and women. I recognize that it starts with our most intimate relationships. We, as women, have to stop taking care of men. We have to stop treating them as if they are helpless and fragile. We have to demand more from them. Even more importantly, we have to start taking care of ourselves.