I have never been a quitter. But I think I can learn. Some things are worth quiting: meaningless or painful relationships, dead-end jobs, clubs and organizations that waste our time and fail to meet our needs...
Unfortunately, I have this pattern that keeps me from productively quitting.
1. I observe a problem, sometimes it's a big one.
2. I come up with a plan for fixing it (confident that I can fix anything if I set my mind to it).
3. I communicate my plan to other members of the group.
4. They nod politely and pat me on the head. Sometimes they even placate me with agreement. We're on the same page, for a moment. Everyone is happy.
5. We continue to behave in the same ways; the problem persists.
6. I repeat my concerns, only louder this time.
You see where I am going with this.
Laying my behavior out in this way helps me to see some of the problems with the process. First, it is a little me focused. I usually think that I have the answer that the group needs. What I fail to consider is that the group is likely meeting the needs of other members or they wouldn't be there. Certainly, I have a right (and obligation to myself) to communicate my observations and make requests consistent with my needs. However, if others choose not to respond, it's time to hit the road.
So long, farewell, alvederzane, good night...
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