Do you ever feel like you might have multiple personality disorder? OK, maybe it's just me. For most of my life I have alternated between the nice girl and THE BITCH.
The nice girl smiles and coos and laughs at jokes that she doesn't really find funny. She follows the rules and seeks approval from anyone and everyone. She works hard without promise of reward. She ignores her own needs in favor of the needs of others.
THE BITCH, on the other hand is a raving lunatic. She is Joan Jett on steroids. She yells and rants and swears like a sailor. She may even strike out physically if provoked; Tables are overturned and dishes fly in the wake of her wrath.
THE BITCH emerges in a predictable pattern to protect and defend the nice girl. Her goal is to keep the nice girl from being pushed around too much.
I've been thinking about developing a third personalty. I think I might call her The Bold One. The Bold One is calm and assertive. She stands up for her own needs and doesn't feed the rage. She invites the nice girl and THE BITCH over for tea and empathizes with them but never relinquishes her role as hostess.
Awesome! You captured the essence of our human struggle--we tend ot think in either/or terms--either I am nice or a bitch--nice is a forced adult, bitch is a raving little girl--assertive Bold One is a true and honest adult. I got to be a Bold One today, thanks in part, to your support and encouragement.
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