Thursday, February 25, 2010

Day 55

Nothing pisses me off more than broken promises. It is hard for me to maintain relationships with people who do not honor their commitments. I am a harsh judge when it comes to integrity and honesty.



So, why do I keep breaking promises to myself?



I have recommitted myself to eating better and losing weight at least a hundred times over the last few years. I am really disgusted with my lack of integrity and honesty. I would like to break up with myself. Unfortunately I am stuck with my betrayer.



Lately, I have started to ask some really hard questions:



Do I really want to lose weight?

What is standing in the way?

Can I forgive myself and accept myself as I am?

Why do I insist on continuing this cycle of self-abuse?

How can I maintain my integrity in spite of my weight?



Mostly, I would like to make peace with myself. Maybe that means making peace with being fat.

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