I received a phone call last night. It was about 10:00 and I was sleepy, making plans to go to bed soon. The person on the other end of the phone was someone I had never really thought of as a friend, but rather more of an acquaintance. Now she sounded sad and worried. She told me about a family problem that she needed help with. I listened and offered my help. We agreed to talk again in a few days.
Over the years I've occasionally had someone reach out to me in this way. I always have the same reaction: what an honor. One of the things I've learned by studying nonviolent communication is that we all want to contribute to the world in meaningful ways. Sometimes the opportunities present themselves because someone reaches out and asks for help. What a gift that is.
I have never been good at asking for help. I am fiercely independent. I always thought of that as a virtue. Perhaps it is in some circumstances but I can't help to think about all the opportunities I missed to really connect with another person. Having the courage to reach out and ask for help is paradoxically a way to contribute to the lives of others.
I have a friend who is struggling with a health challenge. I told her I would bring over a dinner for her to share with her family while she is recovering. I'm so glad she said yes. That pot of soup will no doubt nourish us both.
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