Monday, August 30, 2010

Day 242

It's a few weeks until my son leaves for his new school. His friends are already back in school here and he doesn't have a job or other obligations to keep him busy. He is spending a lot of time reading - hours everyday in fact.

This is starting to drive me crazy. In part because my son has always been inactive and I can clearly see the ways that I contributed to his sedentary lifestyle. When he was a little boy I didn't have much time for him. I was busy going to school, working and trying to maintain a household. His love of books provided much needed respite for me.

I regret not being able to put everything aside to take him to the park more often or even to cook or do chores together. It was easier to do things myself and I couldn't see the costs for him down the road.

I can't change the past but I can acknowledge my grief over having made some bad decisions as a mother. I can also seize the opportunity to do things differently now. I think I will ask Steven to wash the car with me later; then maybe we'll make apple butter together. It's never too late to begin again.

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