One of the things that I have learned as a mediator is that everyone has "hot buttons" and usually those closest to us, our friends and family, know what they are and routinely push them.
One of my hot buttons is behavior that I perceive as inequitable, particularly when men are treated with an elevated status by virtue of their sex. I learned early that the needs of the men came before my own. They had to be handled with care because they have fragile egos.
Yesterday I was riding in the backseat of the car with the windows down, the wind whipping my hair in my face. My stepfather was driving and I wanted to ask him to roll up the window but I couldn't.
Where did I learn that I am not allowed to ask for what I need? Where did this fear of "rocking the boat" come from? When did the anger first start to fester into a painful boil? Why does being with certain members of my family continue to tap into this pain?
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