Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Day 145

I heard about a camera that supposedly reveals auras. The people in pictures taken by this camera are bathed in glowing light - the glowing light is the aura. I don't know what an aura is but I find our longing to reveal our essence or true nature interesting. On some level, most of us would love to be able to look at a person and know who they really are. We recognize the futility in this given that it seems impossible to even know ourselves. I have heard it said that trying to know yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth.

And yet, if we really listen, most people reveal a great deal. I was with an acquaintance yesterday who, by way of offering me advice as a new graduate, told me her own story. She said that when she graduated she knew that she had to find a job with health insurance and a pension. She talked about the limited life of the struggling social security system and how those without savings are doomed to a life of suffering. As she was talking I started to see her aura. It was an aura of fear.

Later I thought about how much I want to avoid carrying around an aura of fear. One thing I have learned by studying nonviolent communication is that the feelings are the finger pointing to something bigger. The feelings, if we pay attention, can reveal a need. The need, in the case of my friend, appeared to be safety, security. Her strategy was to get a state job with good benefits. Unfortunately, this did little to quell her fear. Perhaps the feelings of fear aren't related to anything in the external environment. Perhaps the need for security can only be satisfied by finding a safe place within.

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