Day 131

I have made an observation about my writing group. We spend far more time discussing the pieces submitted by men than pieces submitted by women. Coincidence? Perhaps, but 5,000 years of history supports my theory that the men are dominating the group.

This is the very kind of thing that used to really piss me off (OK, maybe it still does). It isn't so much that men seize control. What really pisses me off is that women so often defer to men. I understand the desire to be taken care of by the big, strong patriarch. Perhaps it's so personal because I never really had that and I long for it on some level. Enough psychoanalysis...it doesn't matter why, the real question is: How do I respond?

For years I struggled with this dilemma. Do I acknowledge the inequality and leave or do I stay and fight? Neither of these options seem consistent with the way I want to live my life. Perhaps there is a middle way. I could do the internal work to deal with the psychology factors that complicate the issues for me. This would allow me the space to detach. From a detached position I could observe what is happening and acknowledge it, perhaps call the attention of others in the group to it.

I may learn to accept and live with the situation as it is. Paradoxically this may be the first step to real change.