Saturday, May 15, 2010

Day 135

When I was a little girl my mom was the smartest person I knew. She was also kind and hard working. Why then were we so poor? I couldn't figure it out. Then I went to college and was exposed to social theory in my sociology classes - exploitation of the worker and all that. I started reading feminist theory and came to understand that as a working-class single mother my mom was subject to a kind of double jeopardy.

For me, social theory wasn't some vague abstraction, it provided me with a framework for understanding the world I grew up in. Isn't that what we're all looking for? The right lens that will bring the world into focus, particularly those aspects of the world that were so baffling to us as children. Feminist theory was that lens for me. Once I started to identify as a feminist I joined feminist groups. I was part of a tribe, no longer alone in the world. I found tremendous comfort in that.

Lately, when I try to share my view of the world with other people, the view I see through my feminist lens, I feel them pushing back. They challenge me to reconsider my position. Perhaps the circumstances I see have nothing to do with sexism. Perhaps I need to stop identifying and labeling men and women according to gender. Perhaps I need to start seeing the world through a new lens.

It is frightening to put down the spyglass even it means allowing ourselves a wider range of vision. It is even more frightening to give up our place in the tribe. Sometimes, however, there is more power in standing alone and seeing the world through our own eyes.

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