The sun comes up early these days. Although I am not usually one to get up with the sun, I find myself out of bed by 5:30 a.m. I generally wake with a sense of excitement. This morning, that excitement was accompanied by a feeling of fear. As I reflected on my plans for the day, to look for teaching positions via the Internet, the fear became more embodied.
Sometimes I find it helpful to give my feelings voice. I don't mean to suggest that I merely give voice to my feelings. Instead I detach and allow my feelings to speak to me, recognizing that I am not my feelings. So what is this fear saying? It is saying: "Don't invest too much (time, energy, talent) in getting a JOB. The universe might just have other plans for you. Don't let a JOB get in the way of your life's work."
Wow, I usually think of my fear as an enemy. I try to assuage it by keeping it well fed. Like a stray cat it just keeps coming back for more. When I really listen I realize that it is my friend, it is trying to speak to me. If I listen perhaps I can avoid certain painful paths. The trick is to listen and then send it on its way.
Yes, as I have discovered, a job can get in the way of your real life's work.
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