Monday, November 29, 2010

Day 333

I just started teaching a new online class. I have a "mentor" who provides me with feedback on my interactions in the classroom. This morning she sent me an email with a strongly worded recommendation.

Frankly, it pissed me off. Fortunately, I didn't respond out of that energy. I thanked her for her feedback and then spent a little time trying to determine the source of my anger.

I find that I am generally angry when confronted with my own mistakes. I try very hard to be perfect: to follow the rules and do what is expected of me. I have a need for connection which I try to meet by gaining the approval of those in authority. When I fail my need for connection goes unmet and I get angry.

I am trying to learn that there are other ways to connect. I can get acceptance and approval without being perfect.

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