Yesterday I went to a meeting and presented a report that I invested a lot of time in. As I was working on the report, I imagined the appreciation with which it would be accepted by the group. I imagined their faces glowing and their words of praise falling on me like drops of holy water.
It didn't turn out quite like that. There was almost no reaction at all. I think I would have preferred condemnation, disagreement with my findings, a battle of intellect. At least then I would have known that they read it. At least I would know that they see me.
My need for praise it seems is really a need to be seen and heard and appreciated. Why do I continue to look to other people, in some cases near strangers, to give this to me? When will I stop looking outside for validation? When I will I finally accept that I am good enough regardless of what the world says?
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