I read a story once about Henri Poinare, a mathematician and physicist who developed many of the concepts of special relativity that Einstein would build on. As the story goes, Poinare was trying to solve a particularly perplexing math problem. Finally, he gave up and went on vacation. As he was boarding the bus the solution came to him.
I have felt perplexed by a dilemma in my own life for a few years now. I notice that I no longer elicit much praise from people around me. When I was younger, I was often praised by teachers and supervisors, not to mention my mother who served up heaping daily doses. I found myself wondering why the praise had all but disappeared. Were my actions no longer worthy of praise?
Yesterday I went for a walk. The answer came to me when I wasn't even conscious of the question. We generally praise those we perceive to be beneath us in terms of either experience, skill or knowledge. We seldom assess, evaluate or issue judgements, positive or negative, about those we perceive to be our equals.
Maybe the lack of praise is a reflection of my own growth. Perhaps other people are more inclined to see me now as their equal. Perhaps if I saw myself as equal to those around me I could let go of my need to please. I'm no Einstein, but that's what I think.
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