Day 266

I have this student in my class who is driving me crazy. He is new to higher education and he knows everything. He gives me helpful tips to enhance my teaching and accuses me of various injustices when he doesn't agree with my decisions. He reminds me a little of myself.

My first job out of college was for a small not-for profit agency. After six months on the job I thought I had a pretty good handle on how the place should be run. I constantly provided unsolicited (and mostly unappreciated) advice to my boss. I complained about the working conditions and demanded more respect. I even had a few Norma Rae moments when I tried to organize my co-workers in rebellion.

In hindsight that was the best job I ever had. I was too naive and inexperienced to realize just how good I had it. Just like the student in my class, I didn't know what I didn't know.

Day 265

I went to church a few days ago. There was a young man there singing an original song. I don't know the name of the song but there was a refrain that I can't get out of my mind: "There's a river running through the mind of God." It was about this metaphorical river that is life. We are all part of the river; we can, if we choose, surrender to the flow.

I have always been fascinated by the ways that people define the almighty and the relationship between the creator and that which was created. The ancient Greeks enjoyed a bevy of Gods and Goddesses; a deity for every occasion. Christians, by contrast, believe in only one God and take comfort in his only son and the salvation he offers.

I think that perhaps my religious views are best summed up in this song: a poetic, rich piece of mythology. We are all (animals, human and nonhuman, plants, objects, animate and inanimate, the whole shebang) part of the mind of God; Life is a great river that carries us toward the infinite unknown. I offer no empirical data in support of this finding. But I do enjoy the way I feel when I imagine myself as part of the flow.

Day 264

Life is generous is so many ways. Unfortunately, most of us view the world through a lens colored by pain and seldom see the opportunities that are presented to us. In truth, life offers us do-overs everyday, chances to relive old scenes from the past and supply new endings.

Someone close to me has just such an opportunity right now. She had some painful experiences associated with school; these experiences shaped her worldview. Now she is starting over: a new school, a new opportunity to learn that she is not a victim. This is a chance to rewrite the story of her life. I can't wait for the next chapter.

Day 263

I have always been keenly aware of social class. As a child I could see the invisible lines that separated me from my teachers: people from the other side of the tracks. No one talked about these divisions but they were real none the less. Most everyone else I knew was poor. More than anything else that is what defined us. I have always viewed those with wealth with curiosity more than envy.

Over the last few days I have stayed in the home of people who are, if not wealthy, clearly comfortable. I have observed a few things. They possess many beautiful objects. Something about the way they are displayed says to me that they are meant for display, to make an impression on others. It must take a lot of time and effort to decide just what to purchase and how it should be presented to the world.

There are complicated gadgets and widgets in this home that I recognize only by function: a Swiss made washing machine and dryer with buttons and dials that seem, well, foreign; a coffee maker that has a fourteen-page instruction manual and makes one cup at a time; facets that have three separate knobs for adjusting temperature, pressure and location; door locks that require a specific series of manipulations to coax that bolt into place. These items all seem unnecessarily complicated.

Being rich is hard work. Just as there is a fine line between simplicity and poverty, there is a certain complexity associated with wealth. The difference comes down to choice. Whereas we may not choose poverty, we can opt for simplicity. Likewise, even if wealth is thrust upon us we need not succumb to the complexities.

Day 262

I went to church this morning. During meditation the minister whispered, "You are holy and whole, sacred and divine."

Wow. I wonder what the world would be like if everyone, everywhere heard that message and believed it.

Day 261

I drove seven hours today to drop Steven off at Evergreen. Now I am sitting in the kitchen of a home owned by my brother and sister-in-law. They are on a Russian cruise and generously offered to let me stay at their home.

It is a small, luxurious house that sits at water's edge facing Puget Sound. It is a treat to stay here. At the same time, I find it a bit unsettling: perhaps it is the $200 coffee/tea maker that I can't figure out how to operate or the boats sailing by just outside the kitchen window as I eat tomato soup for dinner.

I think about the homeless man I saw at Safeway where I went to buy the soup. I wonder what he is doing tonight.

Day 260

I was riding my bike through downtown today thinking about how fortunate we are to have such a vibrant commons; A place where old men sit on park benches, lulled by sound of children laughing and playing.

I was approaching a crosswalk at a busy intersection (busy by Moscow standards, anyway) when I saw a bearded young man making his way slowly across the street with the aid of a walker, his right foot dragging with every step. There was an older man with him who looked sturdy and capable in comparison to his companion. The light went through a whole cycle as they crossed the street, holding up traffic. The drivers held hostage in their cars, mesmerized by every tortured step.

I made my way quickly through the intersection and rode by the two men on the other side. The older man said something to the younger man who replied, "Whatever." He went on, "I hate that word: whatever. It's just a nice way to say fuck you."

I don't think that Fellini could have created a more interesting scene.