I got together with some friends yesterday. On my way home I started evaluating my performance. Did I behave properly? Did I make a good impression?
I came to the conclusion that I was too insecure, too emotional, too flighty, too vulnerable. In other words, I did not play the role of my middle aged self very effectively.
Just last night I heard someone say that adulthood in our society is characterized by a lack of emotion, a flattening of affect. It's funny, I didn't learn to fully experience my emotions until I was over 40.
Perhaps that means I am doomed to a life of immaturity. On the other hand, it may be a blessing.
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