I have been a little tired and achy for the last couple of days. This morning I got up, checked my email, had a cup of tea and a bowl of oatmeal and went back to bed. As I laid there I started to realize how much I was literally fighting the aches and pains and chills.
I opened my eyes and caught sight of a little flag my friend made me. It is bright green with an abstract pattern that resembles leaves in spring. It says SURRENDER. She ran out of room as she was applying the appliqued letters so the E and the R sort of drop of the edge of the word. I smile every time I look at it.
I have never been good at surrender. I pride myself on being a fighter. I remember taking swimming lessons when I was about 8. I don't think I ever graduated from the Guppies, in part because I couldn't surrender. I laid on my back and tightened all of my muscles, refusing to be buoyed by the water. Somewhere in the recesses of my mind was the fear of being dragged under and carried away by the undertow. Ironically it was my refusal to let go that inevitably caused me to sink like a stone.
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