Saturday, December 18, 2010

Day 352

Kat got here at 2:00 a.m. I waited up for her and we sat and talked for a couple of hours before going to bed. We got back up a few hours later and went out to lunch - talked and laughed and enjoyed each other's company. We went shopping and bought materials for a project we are planning. Something to do to keep our hands busy while we visit some more. She will be here for about 10 days. I wonder if I will be ready for the silence when she leaves.

I was sitting in a restaurant with a friend once. She was distracted by a couple who sat a few tables away. She kept looking their way. I remember thinking: she is not really here with me. She was absent in the way my mother was often absent when I was a little girl; in the way that I was absent when Kat was a child.

I am so grateful that I finally learned to be more present, to attend to my own need for authentic connection. It is amazing to show up in a relationship and find that I am not alone.

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