Monday, October 4, 2010

Day 277

I have had this problem with intrusive thoughts since I was a little girl. Like obstinate party-crashers they push their way in and refuse to leave. Sometimes they take root and become full-blown obsessions. I wrestle and plead with them to no avail. In frustration I sometimes give in and let them take ownership of my mind and rule my actions.

At one point I decided to take anti-anxiolytic medication to control these intrusive thoughts. When I started taking the pills I was not confident that they would be any match for my unwanted guests. Then one day I realized that they were gone. They had simply moved on. I was free. After a few years I gave up the pills and to my amazement my mind remained relatively clear and unbound.

I was free from the obsessive thoughts for a number of years until recently. I now find myself being taken hostage again. I have decided on a new strategy. First, when I find myself entertaining intrusive thoughts I will stop and take 10 deep breaths counting and focusing on each one. Second, I will not act on these thoughts for at least 1 week; at which point I will rationally reconsideration whether or not to act.

This plan has a few advantages over pills: it is free, all natural and has almost no side effects.

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