Sometimes my sense of equanimity just seems to evaporate, like puffs of steam rising from a tea kettle. Other times, I imagine it jumping off the bed and slipping out the window when I wake at 3:00 a.m., like the gingerbread man who escaped from the old woman who made him.
Bottom line: it is gone. I am thrown off balance, cast about by frustration and anger and fear. I know how to reclaim it. There are certain activities that bring me inner peace: writing, meditating, moving, being outside.
Without a sense of equanimity it is hard to find the energy to do these things. That is where I am today: my sense of equanimity gone, needing to reclaim myself by doing those things that bring me joy and peace, struggling to find the energy.
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