I got together with a friend yesterday who told me about being summoned to her son's school because he hit someone. Instead of punishing him she tried to empathize and understand the reasons why he might have hit the other boy.
I have to admit, this is one aspect of nonviolent communication (NVC) that I am somewhat uneasy with. NVC places an emphasis on empathy and away from blame. I am sometimes concerned that in the process we fail to hold people accountable for their actions. Ultimately, there is no impact on behavior.
I can imagine a world where children are not punished. Where they receive empathy when they make a decision that negatively impacts other people. Where they learn to empathize with the people they harm. Where they learn to slow down and pay attention to what was happening when they made the decision that harmed others. Where they have the opportunity to commit to different behavior for the future.
What can I do to start creating that world right now?
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